Janay Palmer and The Bystander Effect

"The bystander effect occurs when the presence of others hinders an individual from intervening in an emergency situation" (Psychology Today, http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/bystander-effect). In other words, the more people there are present during a dangerous situation, the less likely people are to help. Let that sink in: people become LESS likely to help. They expect someone else will take care of the situation. They take LESS responsibility as a good samaritan.

This concept was foreign to me until my second semester of high school psychology my junior year. My classmates and I did a research project that tested this effect. And boy were the results shocking. We had a confederate lay down in the hallway of two different high schools, as if she were passed out, and observed as people walked by. While some stopped to check on the confederate, far too many passed by without even a concerned glance in her direction.

Recently, the video leaked of Ray Rice punching his then-girlfriend, now-wife, Janay Palmer, unconscious. And like clockwork, the media went wild. The video was shared, tweeted, posted, etc. and EVERYONE suddenly had an opinion. I personally refused to watch it because I get absolutely no satisfaction or entertainment from violence. And not only violence, but violence against women.

People online, on television, on the radio, and everywhere else you can think of, believe that this small amount of information they've been given via the media is enough to assess the entire relationship and simply say to Palmer: "leave him!" Or "Why haven't you left him yet?" While this may seem like a good solution to all of us BYSTANDERS, there are most likely many factors involved that are keeping her from leaving. One of them being the fear of being murdered by her abuser for leaving the relationship.

Instead of sitting back as bystanders, and pointing fingers, and judging, and blaming the victim, we should use this as a learning opportunity and an opportunity to stand up against domestic violence. I challenge you to research the signs, talk to a friend if you're concerned about your own relationship, or comfort a friend if you feel her relationship may not be safe. Do what you can to HELP rather than find reasons why you don't need to help.

And please, by all means, don't watch that video.

Is there really a normal?

Two very different videos have been going around Facebook recently, one more newsworthy (by that I just mean in the news more; not my opinion) than the other. However, after watching one and only hearing about the other (I think I might throw up at the sight of it) I've come to a small, but important (at least I think) realization about our society. 

To give some more context, the video I did watch was about a young child that was born with female anatomy but knew from a very young age that he was actually a male. The video I did not watch was the epitome of misogyny that the UCSB shooter filmed before killing and injuring 19 individuals in Isla Vista, CA. I send my love and condolences to the family and friends of those victims.

I believe the video about the transgendered child has had many positive reactions and helped people see that developmental difference from a new perspective, specifically a child's. 

The media response to the UCSB tragedy has been unsettling. Instead of placing the blame on the killer himself, many people are making claims that he was crazy or a madman. As far as police reports prior to the incident are concerned, he was a perfectly harmless individual. 

While these two videos and topics are incredibly different, they've sparked a thought in my mind. Our society categorizes people based on characteristics in situations where that categorization is crucial to the outcome of the situation. Instead of categorizing transgendered people into some outlier group from "the rest of us," why don't we just accept the fact that some people's anatomy doesn't match the gender they identify with? Just because that isn't the case for us, doesn't mean it's not "normal".

And instead of blaming the killers actions on mental illness, why can't we accept the fact that there is a vast amount of gender inequality (and an unsettling amount of expectations from men of women) in our society and do something to change that? Instead he's put into a category outside the "norm". Sexism and misogyny are ubiquitous. We just don't realize it until peoples lives are at stake.

My question is, what is normal? If no two people are the same, is there even a normal?

To change my major or not change my major, that is the question

I entered school in fall 2012 as a health studies major on the pre-med track with a minor in psychology. By the time I ended my freshman year in spring 2013, I was a communication major with psychology and Spanish minors. My freshman year involved a lot of self-discovery and new experiences that I wouldn't trade for anything. After carefully thinking about my interests and what I'm truly passionate about, I realized the communication world was much more suitable for my personality and aspirations than the world of medicine.

I've been a host on PSU television for a year now, learning the "ins and outs" of television news production. I've gained on-camera experience that will benefit my potential future career in the broadcast industry and have made connections with professionals in the field. This summer I will be an intern with a non-profit, working on community outreach and public relations at concerts in the park. This internship will open up a wide variety of opportunities for me as a professional in the future. I've recently traded psychology and spanish for a film studies minor.

I don't mean to bore readers with my life story- I promise I have a point to all of this. If you've been considering changing your major but are apprehensive about it, I highly recommend meeting with a career adviser about a potential major change. By discussing your interests and the careers you may be interested in, the adviser can help narrow your interests into a specific major, a major you might not even know exists at your university.

I've known multiple people that are afraid to leave the area of study they've originally chosen for a variety of reasons. But they absolutely hate what they're doing. If you're already miserable studying that topic, how do you expect to work in that industry the rest of your life? While changing your major may lead you to be in school longer than expected, you won't have to go back later and get a second degree in what you actually enjoy after getting a useless degree in something you don't enjoy at all.

Ever since changing my major last spring, I've been much happier in my classes, I've had many opportunities present themselves to me, I've seen an increase in my GPA, and I've received a lot of support in my decision. If you're even slightly unhappy with your major (or minor), I challenge you to just look and see what else is out there. You never know what other areas of study might interest you and cultivate your skills.

Advice to Incoming College Students

"Where do you go to school?" "Portland state"
"Do you live downtown?" "No I live at home" "Oh to save money?"

While it's easiest for me to just reply with a yes, the main reason I live at home and commute to Portland State each day is not because of the outrageous housing costs (however, that's an added bonus). The main reason I chose to stay at home and attend PSU is because of my family. I'm so fortunate to have the relationships I do with my parents and brother. Our family operates as a unit and when one piece of the unit is missing, the whole thing feels off. When picturing college, I couldn't see myself living (at least) two hours away from my parents, my brother, my dogs, my big bed, and the city I've grown up in. People would always speak of this "college experience" they couldn't wait to have but nothing about waking up 10 minutes before class because I'd been out all night sounded appealing to me.

What did sound appealing to me was being able to go home every night to a home-cooked meal after watching my brother's baseball game and then getting into a nice big comfy bed in a room I have all to myself. I could definitely picture myself attending classes during the day downtown and then retreating to the suburbs at night.

I've been doing this for almost two years now and it couldn't be a more perfect set-up. I'm still able to get involved at PSU with a dance team, sorority life, and as an orientation leader, all while spending quality time with my parents throughout this collegiate journey.

Every person's situation is different. Some don't have to think about money when going to college and can ultimately go wherever they please. Others rely solely on scholarships and without them, education is out of the question. For me, I'm somewhere in the middle. No matter what a person's situation is, I think it's important that people keep an open mind and realize that just because someone is doing college in a different way than you, doesn't mean it's a wrong way to do it. It just works best for them and their needs. Who cares, really, as long as they are getting educated.

My advice to incoming college students is to not throw this idea out so quickly. I understand I'm in a rare group of people that are close with their parents and enjoy their parents company. But if you are a part of this rare group too, consider staying at home. I promise you'll have some great experiences at PSU. It's what you make of it.

Same-sex Couples in Television

Note: I wrote this for a media consumption journal for a media literacy class but wanted to blog about it as well so if it sounds a bit formal, that is why.

This past week I’ve noticed something in multiple forms of media I watch that has started to bother me. It’s not necessarily in the media itself, but rather the publicity of the media. The issue I’m struggling with deals with same-sex couples in the media. There have been instances in the media lately that show same-sex couples in an incredibly positive light and show how normal it is for the parents of the family to be gay. However, what I’ve started noticing, analyzing, and become frustrated about is the fact that the media has to take that inclusion of gay people and talk about it nonstop.

In the Disney channel show Good Luck Charlie the young daughter, Charlie, of the main family is going to have a play-date. When her friend Taylor’s parents arrive to drop her off for the play-date, Charlie’s parents discover Taylor’s parents are two women. Charlie’s parents don’t act too shocked and the producers make this inclusion seamless. However, after that episode aired, I logged into Facebook and saw post after post of the clip from the show. I think it’s great what Disney did with this and the way they handled it was very professional. The media, though, took the clip and talked about it’s significance over and over again.

This type of publicity creates a barrier between what is “normal” (a heterosexual couple as the parents of the family) and what is “strange” or “different” (a homosexual couple as parents). [As a side note, I think we can all agree that two Caucasian, heterosexual people is no longer the “norm” in America for parents anyway. But for this example we’ll call that the “norm”.] As soon as something in television is done controversially different, people in the media feel the need to talk about it again and again to point out the fact that something was done differently. This might be acceptable with certain issues, but because this is a very important political issue in our country right now, it can dramatically change the perspective people have on the issue.

If the media and people in our society just left the issue alone and acted as if nothing strange had happened, that same-sex couples were just expected as part of a show about families, there wouldn’t be such a divide between what is considered “normal” and what is “strange.” If we can break down that divide, nothing would be considered “stranger than” on a scale in comparison to something similar, yet more “normal.” We would instead have a society that valued the differences among people and families, rather than shaming them for their lifestyle and biology.

We’ve arrived at a point in media that requires we touch on multiple issues in every show in order to remain “politically correct.” While this is polite and may seem like the right thing to do, viewers can see right through what producers are attempting to do. For example, I enjoy watching the show The Fosters for the creative plot line and interesting characters. However, I get frustrated sometimes when the characters or story seems to be placed in the show just “because they had to” put them there. Shows are most entertaining when they break the PC rules; maybe not for everyone, but I guess to me I’m more entertained with parodies of real life versus a boring show trying hard to include all different types of people and make it seem as normal as possible. Certain personality traits should be included where it’s necessary but not every possible trait needs to be included in one episode of a television show.

The Problem with Social Media

After all the talk about an arrest this morning, I felt it was necessary to voice my opinion about the attention social media gives to unimportant topics. The problem is this: the more we tweet, post, blog, and simply talk about the topics we don't like seeing in the media, the more attention they get. If you don't think a 19-year old male pop star is important enough to receive attention, don't give him attention. At all.

I found it sad that on Sunday night a certain professional football player from the Pacific Northwest was "trending" higher on Facebook than a shooting at a university in Pennsylvania. "What shooting?!" You may be asking... Exactly. Our focus has narrowed in on issues not really all that dangerous or important to the country or world as a whole. Instead we focus on silly things like a former Disney star's insane VMA performance. Even if you're tweeting about how repulsed you are by her twerking, you are still giving her the attention she wants. The new goal for people in the limelight is to trend. That's all they want is to have their name everywhere and for people to constantly be talking about them.

The solution to this problem is simple: don't talk about them. Just don't. Every time you do, you're only advancing the problem. Instead, talk about serious issues in the world that need immediate attention and potentially put your fellow citizens at risk. I challenge you to stop yourself any time you begin talking about an issue that really isn't all that important in regards to the sake of our community and instead talk about issues in your community, state, country, and the world. If everyone begins doing this we can combat this problem one conversation at a time.

In case it wasn't obvious, I purposefully referred to people in this post by what they are known for and not their name. You, as a reader, probably still know who I'm talking about but I did not bring attention to them specifically by name. This is a good place to start solving this issue. 

Dreamworlds

I am currently taking a Psychology of Women/Women's Studies course and have really enjoyed the class all term. I have so much respect for my professor and the way she teaches this course. A couple of her lessons have been supplemented with very intriguing videos, especially one she showed our class today. The video is a documentary titled Dreamworlds 3: Desire, Sex, & Power in Music Video, produced by Sut Jhally. The main focus of the film is how women are portrayed in music videos, as well as how music videos fail to portray women accurately. Jhally presents the effects this has on real-life behavior and how people attempt to turn these "Dreamworlds" into reality, when in fact the behaviors shown in music videos are not at all (or not nearly) close to how women behave in real life.

I really enjoy when a film or discussion gets me thinking and my mind makes leaps from one idea to the next. The film got me thinking about how I have boycotted rap music due to the foul language, derogatory terms used toward women, and the drug references every rap song seems to "sing" about. I enjoy music that is grammatically correct, tells a story I can follow, and has a beat I can dance along to. I've really come to enjoy country music because it usually falls under these criterion. In the documentary, however, videos for all genres of music, including country, were shown to misportray women in multiple ways. This lead me to my next thought, which was, how have all forms of music been boiled down to videos of women wearing nearly no clothing, washing cars, and getting alcohol poured on them? Many of the times the song has nothing to do with any of the images the video displays. These types of videos simply get the most ratings, and therefore, continue to be produced.

I think this generation of "millenials" and "generation Y's" have become accustomed to a whole different form of music. It is no longer about the meaning behind the song, the musical talent of the artist, or their ability to put on an incredible live show. Now, I know there are some exceptions to this, but for the most part these seem to be the major differences between music in past generations and music now. While I don't usually watch music videos anyway, I think songs need to be taken for what they are, the meaning of the lyrics or the story the song tells, and not some aesthetically pleasing video of a girl dancing to the song in a bikini. There are so many talented musicians in this world overshadowed by the people who yell into microphones about how many girls they took home or how much alcohol they drank. Musicians deserve credit for the hard work they put into writing, singing, producing, and performing the songs they create.

Then I got to thinking, why did everyone make such a big deal about Miley Cyrus' Wrecking Ball video in the nude/almost nude when girls have been in music videos like this for years? It's acceptable if the girls are with men but as soon as a woman is comfortable being naked alone in a music video, she is deemed a bad person (and called names I refuse to repeat).

I'm very thankful I had the opportunity to watch that video and think about some of these issues today. I highly recommend watching the documentary but not with children present. I briefly mentioned the main argument here since it sparked my ideas but I didn't feel a need to repeat all of Jhally's ideas so find it and watch it if possible.